Choices on Where to Live

When elderly parents physical condition declines to the point where they cannot stay at home without some kind of help, there are many ways to provide that help, either at their long time home or elsewhere. In some cases the adult children may be very willing to have the parent live with them, as it may be easier than constantly running back and forth to the parents home, and keeping up the parents home. There is no single answer for everyone, but if the decision is to have a parent live with an adult child, there are federal and state programs that can help pay for assistance, that can include paying the child giving the care.

In Connecticut, the Home Care Program for Elders (CHCPE) can pay up to $7,370 per month for care, if the parent physically and functionally qualifies. To qualify physically, the parent must need assistance with at least three activities of daily living (ADLs) such as bathing, dressing, transferring, toileting, and feeding. The parent can also qualify if he or she is an overall safety risk, such as falling, not correctly taking medications, or leaving kitchen appliances unattended while cooking. That $7,370 can be paid to outside homecare agencies. There is also an Adult Family Living program under CHCPE that can pay a family member a monthly stipend based on care needs. They can receive up to $2,423 per month as long as the family member is living with the elder person needing care. Don’t misunderstand. The eligibility rules in Connecticut are strict but if your elder loved one qualifies, the money is there to pay for significant care.

Often the elder person declines over time, so that initially only nominal help is needed. If so, staying in their own home may be a good choice, as long as the home does not require them to use stairs all the time. It is ironic that a raised ranch style house owned by so many, is affordable and efficient until they enter old age and stairs become not only a hindrance to getting around, but a serious risk for falling. One floor living is always best as it significantly cuts down the risk of falling. And injuries from falling is the simple biggest reason people end up in a nursing home.

Another aspect of trying to live alone, even with an aide, is lack of socialization. My own mother had been living in her house where she raised us kids since WWII, but she could no longer visit us frequently and her own ability to drive was in decline. To make a long story short, she moved into a senior living apartment complex where numerous old friends also lived made for a daily routine with friends, at meals and other times. It was a happy arrangement and she no longer had to worry about keeping up a single family home. In short, choices on where to live come down to safety, socialization, and in most cases, proximity to family. There is no one size fits all, but with the programs Connecticut has to help pay for homecare, it is possible to avoid a nursing home and live safely and have easy contact with family and friends.

Attorney Stephen O. Allaire is Of Counsel and Attorney Halley C. Allaire is principal in the law firm of Allaire Elder Law, members of the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys, Inc., with offices at 271 Farmington Avenue, Bristol, (860) 259-1500, or on the web at www.allaireelderlaw.com. If you have a question, send a written note to either attorney at Allaire Elder Law, LLC, 271 Farmington Avenue, Bristol, CT 06010, and they may use your question in a future column.