Thinking Ahead

One of the elder care paralegals at Allaire Law suggested that it would be helpful to aging families to read an article about thinking ahead for what, when and where care might be needed before a decrease in functional abilities forces quick decisions. Let’s face it, no one likes to think they may be heading for long term care, whether at home or in some type of elder care facility. But adults do wills in case they die, no matter their age and health conditions, because they want to take care of their families, taking into account their individual differences. When it comes to thinking about all the physical, financial, and legal issues of long term care, however, that is put off, largely because it is not inevitable, unlike death and taxes.

If you or your spouse are getting to a point in one or both of your lives where mental or physical abilities are trending toward significant decline, that is a wise time to consult with medical and legal counselors who are experienced in the problems and solutions to functional decline. That kind of consult can provide a rough outline of what kind of care may be needed in the future, where it can be given, and how it can be paid for. In other words, getting an overview from your health and legal professionals well before a crisis, can lead to thoughtful, non-crisis thinking about alternatives, and laying the groundwork in a calm and thoughtful setting.

For example, if none of your grown children live nearby, would it make sense to move near one of them? Would the expense of long term care insurance make sense? Do you have a family that works together for your parents’ best interest, or would sibling rivalries get in the way? If the need for outside help is growing likely, what companies can give needed home care? And if home care is not likely to be practical, what facilities can best serve you or your loved one, taking into account what level of care may be needed, where the facility is located, and will state or federal programs pay for that care? None of this thinking ahead locks you into decisions that are too early to make. But it does reduce significant angst and fear that can arise if no prior thought is given about how to keep mom or dad in the best living situation possible, with the help they need.

Lawyers who practice elder law time and again see families who need long term care in last minute distress, because they have not earlier sought the advice of a doctor who treats the common problems of aging, and an elder law attorney. That earlier advice can give families time to think about desired options without the pressure of needing to take immediate action. If nothing else, it can avoid the panic of suddenly having to decide on what care is needed, how much, and where to get it. With prior thinking and advice, all families will be better prepared to deal with the options available if it becomes absolutely clear that either dad or mom needs care, and the healthy one cannot provide it.

Attorney Stephen O. Allaire is Of Counsel and Attorney Halley C. Allaire is principal in the law firm of Allaire Elder Law, members of the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys, Inc., with offices at 271 Farmington Avenue, Bristol, (860) 259-1500, or on the web at www.allaireelderlaw.com. If you have a question, send a written note to either attorney at Allaire Elder Law, LLC, 271 Farmington Avenue, Bristol, CT 06010, and they may use your question in a future column.