Decluttering

After decades of living in one home, many people find themselves surrounded not only by memories, but the physical manifestations they come with. The unintended consequences of saving everything from children’s drawings to old coats is a home filled to the gills. Open the spare bedroom and tell me if it has actually become a walk in closet? Go down to the basement and check if it is more of a storage shed now? It is time to declutter. This may seem like strange legal advice, but I assure you it is.

Having too many things can cause stress. That thing you have saved for thirty years because it might be needed eventually causes stress on the elder person trying to navigate their home. This is not only because of the frustration of being unable to find what is needed. Multiplied by many items, it might become a physical barrier to using a walker to go down the hallway. It causes chaos for a dementia trying to find the pills that were placed on the crowded breakfast table. There is no need to keep piling up junk mail and used cups and newspapers from weeks ago. There is a need for someone in that condition to be able to see the few important things their limited attention should focus on, like a meal or medicine.

Clutter might become an impediment to using the spare room for the new live in care giver. That delays getting care into the home. I have seen family move in with their parents to care for them while attempting to clean out the room because they are desperate to be able to hire a caregiver. The money is there, but the physical space for this person to live is not.

Junk can cause falls. Falling when elderly is not for the weak of heart. It is the reason my grandmother was never able to safely return to her home. The clutter can also cause stress on your loved ones, who then have to find the time to sort through everything and get the place suitable for care to come in. Other times a cleanup can be stressful because there is a need to sell the property quickly in order to pay for care in a new apartment or assisted living. Again, the resource is there but cannot be touched because you do not have money until the house sells! But sifting through decades of memories is hard work in every sense, and it is very emotional. So it is slow.

Doing the work in advance can be financially wise also. Going slow means more valuable items can be sold for true value, instead of at a fire sale pace. Ebay, Poshmark, replacements.com and other resale sites are wonderful for selling clothes, china and silverware, or just anything, but it takes time to find the right lid for the pot. I assure you there is a lid for every pot in the end. Going slow means you have time to open every box and shake every book to find the hidden dollar bills. We once had a family go dumpster diving for moldy blankets because when their mother realized they had been thrown out she told them a few thousand dollars were hidden in the pile.

When it comes to elder law, legal advice is not just about documents. Powers of Attorney, Last Wills, Trusts- all of these are useful tools. Tools are important to getting work done, but it is only half the story. Elder law really should be a comprehensive approach to the financial and physical needs of the elder who is in need of care, and the spouse and other loved ones. It takes a village to care for anyone.

Attorney Halley C. Allaire is principal in the law firm of Allaire Elder Law, a member of the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys, Inc., with an office at 271 Farmington Avenue, Bristol, (860) 259-1500, or on the web at www.allaireelderlaw.com. If you have a question, send a note to Attorney Halley C. Allaire and your question may be discussed in a future column.