The Power of Love

One of our law firm’s elder care coordinators observed the most touchingmanifestation of the power of love. She accompanied a wife to visit the husband who is permanently in a nursing home due to the severe Alzheimer’s and physical disabilities which confine him to a wheelchair. His memory is so devastated that he cannot remember his wife’s name despite decades of marriage. Upon entering the
facility, they went to his room and the wife called her husband’s name. He turned around and she said, “Hi honey.” His face lit up with joy, his eyes expressing pure love, and responded, “Hi baby.” It was as touching a moment as you can imagine and brought tears to the wife and to our elder care coordinator.

This story relates to elder care issues and their solutions because no matter how difficult the situation, the power of love can keep the human spirit going. The role of elder care coordinators is to help find solutions to get good care for a loved one, preferably at home. That is done by providing advice and direction on what kinds of help are available from private or public resources, where that help can be given, whether at home, assisted living, or memory care or full skilled care. It is also vital to know how private and public benefits can pay for that care. The key is to know when families can qualify for public benefit programs, and what kinds of help and how much help is available. In the touching story above, the husband was full 24-hour care as he not only had severe Alzheimer’s, but was unable to do any of the daily activities of living such as bathing, dressing, feeding, toileting, etc. In his case, only around the clock team of caregivers could give the care needed. Elder care coordinators help families deal with the various problems that can arise and hopefully keep the loved one at home.

In my own mothers’ case, many years ago, we had caregivers in all day. For several years that worked well. But she started to decline further and lost weight. She had outlived most of her friends, and even though her caregivers were wonderful, she needed more. One of our elder care coordinators said “You know, she is a very social person, and needs more people around her. She needs to be in an independent living facility, keeping her caregivers.” That was exactly the problem and the solution. She
moved to an independent car facility, ate meals with others, had her private aides, and put on 12 pounds in three months. She lived there for about three years until her condition deteriorated so much with dementia and decreased physical movement that a nursing home was needed. My article at that time was titled “How to gain weight in one easy lesson.” 

The point of these anecdotes is to have it strike home that the power of love is vital in nurturing the human spirit to live, and that getting the help of elder care coordinators who know what help is available, what is practical, and what programs can pay for that help is what keeps loving families in the best possible care environment ensuring the best quality of life.