Once again, in honor and memory of all those mothers suffering from dementia and needing care or those who passed away, this repeats the annual article on our feelings for them. These were my feelings many years ago when searching for a card for my mother. This is about a trip to the card display before Mother’s Day. As everyone knows, just any card won’t do for your mother. Not for the wonderful person who gave birth to you,
nurtured you, fed you, cured the pain on your bruised shin, and overall gave you the unconditional love and warmth and feeling of security that let you grow and bloom into the adult you have become.

Wanting to protect your home and pass it on to your kids is a universal desire. But there are good ways and bad ways to do that. An old adage that “timing is everything’ applies.

The answer is everyone over the age of eighteen. Why? Because at any time in our lives we may become incapacitated, or out of contact and if medical or financial decisions need to be made, then someone you trust should be given the power to make those decisions for you. Military personnel and others who may be assigned to out of the way places always have those two legal documents in place, just in case they are needed. Any of us could be driving down the street and get hit by an inattentive driver. If the ambulance takes you to a hospital unconscious, and you need care decisions made, who do you trust to make those medical decisions. And if for a short time period, or a long time, you are incapable of making those decisions, you want the person you trust to make good decisions in keeping with your wishes. That person must have the emotional strength to make regular decisions or end of life decisions, which in many cases are difficult because emotions are deeply intertwined, even if it is clear that there is no hope.

Those words are all too common for families with elder parents. Falling is the single biggest reason people end up needing long term care, either at home or in assisted living or in a nursing home. Obviously the first line of defense is to take all possible steps to avoid falls, but inevitably it happens to a certain percentage of elders. The question “What should we do?” has three major parts.

Stories of family and friends suddenly needing health care and financial decisions to be made for them, because they temporarily or permanently become incapable of acting for themselves, should make us all take certain steps to protect ourselves and our families. Those certain steps are Power of Attorney to handle financial affairs, a healthcare directive, and a trust or will or both depending on the circumstances. With the right tools in place, your family members or other trusted person can handle your health and financial matters to protect your assets, manage your health care if you cannot and give your whole family peace of mind that any expected or unexpected problem can be handled.

At the risk of delivering this message too many times, it is important for people to think every so often about updating their critical documents, such as wills, trusts, power of attorneys, health care directives (often called living wills) and HIPAA forms. It just takes a few moments to think if the person or persons you have named to act for you are still capable of doing that job. .